I Will Love You Forever
by SerinaGyrfalc
Summary: The death of Anna Irving. SPOILERS, oneshot, rated for blood.


_**I Will Love You Forever**_

He's crying. He's so frightened. I feel you tense beside me as I tremble in terror. I was always so frightened of Kvar. Everytime he appeared I could hardly move, and you always had to save me. Your hand is on your sword, but you dare not draw it. We don't know what Kvar will do, especially since Forcystus is with him. That monster, that mad man that stopped my time, that made me live 120 years too long, has our baby, our Lloyd and is threatening to strangle him if I don't surrender myself and my Exsphere.

The Exsphere. Angelus. The reason we met. The reason we had to run. Well, one of the reasons. You were pursued by the Angels, and I the Desians. You knew so little of the world of the present, but so much of the past and the blade, and I knew so little of the sword, but so much of present day life. So we taught each other. But in the end we always had to run. Your friend, Yuan, was forced to hunt you and fight you, but he always tried to hold back and give us a chance to run. He still cares about you. I wish you could see that.

Lloyd's cries cut short as his breath is cut off by Kvar's tightening grip. Instantly I feel my feet take me a step forward.

"Anna, no!"

I look over my shoulder at your rusty coloured eyes, eyes that pleaded, eyes that begged, but what else could I do? It is either me or our son, and I love him so very much, and he is being made to suffer because of me, because of my Exsphere.

I take another step.

"Anna, stop. We can find another way," you whisper desperately so the two Desians won't hear, but we both know there is no time for us to find another way.

I never thought that we would ever run out of time. I thought we would live together forever.

It's a lie. There is no other way. I know it, and I know that you more than anyone else knows it, too, my love; my Kratos.

I smile. How can I smile? Because I love you. I love you so very much, and I love Lloyd so very much. I would do anything to protect you both, to ensure you both got life and happiness.

"Kratos… you know me," I say with that smile, tears in my eyes. "I can't stand to see people suffering if there is something… anything… I can do to help, especially our son. Even…." I look away. I'm so scared. I know this is going to be the end, but you and Lloyd will live for me, so it's ok. I look up again and smile at those tear-filled eyes that were my companion for so many years. "I love you, Kratos." I walk forward and this time I don't stop.

"Anna!"

"Stop or your son is dead!" Kvar warned as his grip tightens on Lloyd's throat. He gasps, trying to breath.

You stop. I knew you would. You don't want to see Lloyd hurt anymore than I do, but you don't want what is going to happen to me to come. I don't want it either, but there is no other way, right?

I want our son to live.

Forcystus seizes my arm, pulling me to his side to pin both of my arms down, away from my chest, where the light blue round crystal of Angelus glows in the diamond shaped opening in my shirt.

"Here is your son back, Fallen Seraphim!" Kvar calls with a sneer, throwing Lloyd as hard as he can in Kratos's direction.

"Lloyd!" You spread your wings, those lovely blue wings that I always had admired ever since I had first seen you fly, and soar forward, having to slide on the ground to catch our son.

Forcystus turns me towards Kvar. He's wearing a claw like glove that I had only seen when an Exsphere had to be forcibly removed and couldn't be done with a normal machine. I jerk and struggle, screaming at them, but Forcystis is so much stronger than I am. Lloyd is safe, so there's no need for me to cooperate anymore, but I feel the metal press on my skin.

There is no escape.

I feel the claws of the glove sink into the flesh around my Exsphere, shattering the crescent shaped crest attached around it that you had made me shortly after we had first met.

No way out.

I feel the hand close around the crystal.

None.

I scream as Kvar pulls it free.

"Anna!" You start to run forward, still holding Lloyd, brandishing your sword.

Forcystus throws me against you, nearly making you drop our son. "You can have your lover back now, Seraphim, for what time she is still human anyway," he says. His voice seems far away.

"What!" You glare at the Desians but your look of anger instantly turns to horror at the Angelus Kvar holds in the fingers of the bloodied metal glove.

My body is shaking. It's like I'm being stabbed by a thousand red-hot pokers all at once all over me. You drop your sword and hold me at arm's length with your free hand and stare at the wound on my chest where Angelus had once rested.

I don't look at you. I can't. "Kratos, get away from me." I can feel things happening inside me. My guts twist and knot and change. Everything seemed both so loud and far away.

I know what's happening. I had seen it many times over and over again and now I had a front row seat to the show.

My humanity is leaving me.

"No! Anna!" You shake me by my shoulders hard, just like I was a little girl and not a grown woman with the iron grip of your only free hand, and for a moment, everything is normal again.

I know it will only last for a moment.

A moment is all I need.

I break away from you and run at Kvar and Forcystus, brandishing my twin blades for the first time since we had infiltrated the Iselia Ranch to rescue Lloyd.

"**Double Demon Fang**!" I let lose two waves of concentrated air and hit both Desians.

Angelus flies out of Kvar's grasp. Leaping over both staggering men I grab the crystal and clinch it tight inside my hand between palm and sword hilt so there would be no way I could drop.

It comes again. Everything is so loud, the stone so hard under my feet, the light so bright in the ceiling, yet it's all so very dim and far away. I looked at the two men lying there, still breathing, and a thirst for blood and death much stronger than my thirst for adventure and life comes over me.

I want to kill them.

No. More than that.

I wanted to kill _everything_!

I ran forward, my blades at ready, when strong arms caught me. "Anna, stop! Stop it! Hold on!"

That voice… so distant… I know him. It's….

I fall against you, gasping. It hurts. It hurts so badly! So much pain! I want it to stop! There was no going back. My Exsphere is gone. My mana was going out of control and quickly altering everything inside my body. I can feel it!

I look into your eyes again, tears falling from mine in a mix of pain and grief. "Kratos… kill me…! Please…. I don't want to turn into a monster!"

You stare at me in your arms, shocked, and shake your head violently in denial. "No…. No, Anna! Come on!" Your hand wraps around my wrist since I won't let go of my swords and you drag me along, all the while I'm gasping and fumbling through the corridors of the ranch while you run using your wings to increase the ground covered by your steps.

We make it outside and I trip. My wrist slips out of your hand.

My body is in fire! It's so hot. My back… something's wrong. "Ahh…!"

"Anna, come on!" You reach to take my wrist and I pull away, panting heavily.

"Kratos, p-p-please…! Plea-AAAAHHHHH!" The flesh on my back splits open. I claw uselessly at it with my fisted hands still holding my swords, trying to make it stop. I scream without end, each breath a cry of pure agony. I think I hear Lloyd crying.

Two wings, feathered, twisted, distorted, spread from my back. I can feel them sliding out of me as I scream. I can feel the blood running down my back from my shoulders.

You reaches to me again, anguish in your touch. You know what is happening. You know there is no choice, but your heart won't let you do what I need you to do. I know you must long to take me away, to find a cure, to make it all better.

Why did we have to fall so deeply in love?

Everyone we met, I would always hear them say that. The phrase that no one expects to hear;

'_Never have there been two people so in love as they.'_

I see your hand, but in this moment I can't tell it is yours. I swat at it with all my strength then swing with my other arm hoping to catch the arm's owner unawares, but the body I so longed to carve into was snatched out of my reach as Noishe snatches you by the collar of your shirt and pulls you away from me. I rise to my feet and regard you, trying to figure out how quickly I can make your blood spill as my own blood rolls down my back onto the white snow.

"Anna? Anna, what are you doing?"

Those words… I don't understand them anymore. They are just sounds to me. I take a battle pose and taunt you with my blades silently.

You pass Lloyd, who is hiccupping from crying so hard, to the Arshis. "Watch him, Noishe."

The Protozoan whined and carried Lloyd away, but my eyes follow. I want everything that moves dead. I want everything to feel my pain. Maybe if I caused more pain than I feel it would stop.

I run by you and swing my blades in the Sword Rain technique to connect with the small boy our friend had set at what had been thought a safe distance, but Noishe steps in the way and my blades pierce his side instead. He howls in pain.

"Anna, STOP!"

I turn to the sound in time to feel the sword hilt connect heavily with the side of my temple, but in my new state it won't knock me out. I'm not human enough for it to hurt me anymore. I still fall to the ground though, dazed, and bleeding, but for a few seconds I am myself again. I wrap my arms around myself as the pain increases. I could feel a new body made by the mana run wild inside me trying to form under my flesh and crawl out of me. My agony increases as my arms begin to twist and my hands turn to claws.

"Mommy…! Mommy!" Lloyd hiccups, sniffling and sobbing.

You take my face in your hands, pulling me up until I am sitting in the snow laced with my blood. "Anna! Anna, stop this! You can fight it!"

I take a shuttering breath where I sit in the snow, blood running down the side of my face, and I sob. "Kratos! Please…! Kill me while I'm still me! While I'm still human!" I beg, but I see the refusal in your eyes. You'd rather die before even scratching my flesh with a hurtful intention. "Kratos, please…. It's… too late…!"

"Don't say that, Anna! It's not too late. I will protect you. I'll restore you to yourself somehow!"

I try to speak again, but all that comes out is a grunt of pain. I look into your eyes with my brown ones, begging you silently, my voice refusing to sound.

I shuddered in pain.

Again I'm not me anymore.

In one motion I thrust one of my blades forward into your stomach.

You stare at me, your hands suddenly not gripping my shoulders in desperation but to support yourself. I feel my body tense to twist the blade, but yet again, Noishe is there and pulls you to safety, taking my blade with you.

I watch the angel of Cruxis that is my husband-that is you-lean heavily on your life long friend, but I mainly watched your blood spilling onto the snow as you pull my sword out of your abdomen. I do not know why I am still hanging onto one of my blades anymore. Something deep inside of the back of my mind tells me that the hard round crystal pressed hard between my palm and the hilt is too precious to let go of.

I see Lloyd by himself, on his tiny hands and knees in the snow, tears streaming down his face that has become red from crying, his voice calling to me, eyes pleading with me. "Mom, don't hurt Daddy. Please don't fight! M-mommy."

I chant silently and my wings glow as they once had when I could call them painlessly with Angelus in the battle technique called the Over Limit, and in a flash of light I use the skill, Angelus Requiem.

It strikes them all.

Lloyd isn't crying anymore, but lying dazed in the snow, bleeding.

I fly forward; my left had reaching out to strike him.

I wanted everything to die.

It all had to die.

"LLOYD!"

Everything.

"ANNA, NO!"

A blade cuts deep into me in an arced slice of perfect Light Spear.

The force pushes me back and I fall hard into the snow.

I can't move anymore, but I feel so suddenly warm. Why I am warm? Oh. I see. My blood is flowing so freely that must be why I am warm, but I don't hurt anymore, and I'm me again. My wings and the claws of my hands are gone.

I'm so happy. I can be human in my last moments.

I know this is the last time I'll get to be human. I can still feel the throbbing of the rogue mana inside me twisting my innards around to their own insane design.

"Oh no…. No…" You come and kneel beside me where I lay.

I look at you with sane eyes and smile. I get to be with you in the end. I'm so happy. "Kratos…."

"Oh Anna… no… no! I didn't mean… oh god!" You start to cry beside me, your body leaning over me and holding me. It's the most horrible sound I have ever had to hear, the sound of you so sad, but there is nothing I can do for you anymore.

"Kratos… finish it," I ask you, smiling so warmly. "I don't want to die a monster. It's still… in me. Let me die… human… with you."

"Anna..." You pick up your sword. "I don't want to do this." You tilt it towards my heart and support my upper body out of the snow. "I never wanted to hurt you. Not ever."

You slide the blade into my chest in and out in a single smooth motion.

The pain all floods for one brief instant as I feel the blood rise in my throat, then my body just as quickly goes numb. You hold me tight, crying, muttering my name into my hair. I reach up and hold you weakly, my arms trembling.

"Kratos…. Look after Lloyd for me," I whisper, trying not to let the blood spill over my lips. It's hard trying to not gag or choke on the hot substance so you won't worry. "Be the parent I won't get to be." You start to sob now. It pulls at my heart so hard, but there is no more that I can do now save to impart my last wishes to you. "Ever since… I met you… I've been so happy. Before I ran aimlessly… letting life carry me along… but then you came… and my life suddenly had a meaning."

"Anna…!"

"I lived with no regrets. No matter how… hard things got. No matter… how scared I was..., because you… were with me.

"I love you, Kratos. Now… live… twice as well for me with our son."

You pull back, looking into my eyes, but your face seems so dim, so far away, but it's still so lovely, so handsome. My Kratos… my strength… my one true love.

'_Never were there two so in love as they.'_

"I love you, Anna," you whisper softly, the joy of our memories in your eyes mixed with the sorrow of the parting that was soon to come.

I open my hand from my sword, letting it fall, and show you the prize I had managed to snatch from Kvar while I was still sane. "I have… no regrets. Only… happiness, thanks… to you… Kratos."

There is a blast. It burns my side, and suddenly I'm flying away from you. No! I wanted to die in your arms. It's not fair!

I hear a howl and another blast and Noishe holding Lloyd preciously in his jaws is falling with me down the cliff. I hear you scream my name and our son's name, but it is drowned out when I hit the trees below and fall into the mass of old carcasses both old and new that had collected there. Noishe just barely manages to land on his feet. Lloyd is crying again. Thank goodness I didn't hurt him when I lost control!

My poor Lloyd. He never asked for this. I'm sorry I had to be cursed with that Exsphere.

I hear monsters growl and run at the sight of us suddenly falling from the sky, but they won't stay back for long. Noishe comes to me, and I grab on the best I can since his mouth is carrying poor Lloyd like the Arshis would a puppy or a kitten.

He runs dragging Lloyd and I along.

The snow starts to fall. I still remember earlier that day… all seemed so right. We told Lloyd stories about where snow comes from, and taught him how to make a snow angel. It was so peaceful. So perfect.

And now…I'm dying.

Noishe stops under a pine tree. I let go of his leg and lie on the dry needles, looking up and seeing the snow fall beyond the branches. The Protozoan sets my boy by my side. He's crying so very hard.

"Mommy, you're bleeding…!" He places his tiny hands over the wounds I got from yourr merciful blade, but my life's blood has already escaped me. My fate is sealed.

I reach a shaky hand up and brush my boy's tear streamed face. "Lloyd… you are so like your father," I tell him with a smile. I hadn't wanted him near me when I died, but now it can't be helped. It seems the wishes of the dying are often ignored by fate. "Don't worry, sweetie. Daddy will come soon to take care of you."

"What you mean, Mommy? You'll take care of me, too."

Oh my poor boy. He's so young that he doesn't understand that this is the very end. Not the way you did, my heart.

Noishe lies nearby. He's lost the ability to remain conscious. Looks like I hurt him pretty bad. I'm sorry, boy. You always looked out for me and I went and did a thing like that. I hope you'll be ok. You're a good dog…

Footsteps come close, but somehow I can tell they are harmless. I guess someone must have seen the trail of blood Noishe and I left in the snow. It has to be you. Oh great Kharlan Tree please let it be you! I want to be with you in the end, to see you looking in my eyes as the world grows further and further away.

But it is not my Kratos.

The form that passes under the overhanging branches is a Dwarf. He looks in surprise at me lying in the snow without any kind of coat, then the wounds over my body, then at Noishe and Lloyd.

"What happened here?" He asks in surprise, rushing to my side to see what he can do.

Lloyd looks at him, frightened, his tiny hands still trying to cover my wounds. "Mommy! Mommy, get up! Stranger! Get up!"

I open my mouth to answer him, but choke on my blood. Soon I won't be able to speak. Damn. There is so much more I need to say. Oh my poor Lloyd, I'm so sorry I'm dying where you have to watch.

"Miss, are you…?" he stops when he sees the deep wounds Lloyd is trying to cover. Anyone can see I suppose that these wounds are fatale.

This is my last strength. My last chance. Using what is left of the stable mana and energy inside of me I lean up and grab the Drawf by the collar of his shirt, sitting up in the bed of needles.

"Listen… my… n-name is Anna Irving Aar…Aar…a," I choke when I try to give my married name, but press on in what I must say. "Please… look after my son until his fa-father… comes…. We… w-w-were seperat-," I cough, blood drips down my chin, but still I force myself to speak. "Desians… trap for us. My Exsphere…." I take my hand and force the small crystal into the Dwarf's hand. "Angelus… g-give it to Lloyd as soon as you can…!"

I fall back into the needles. I can't tell if it's warm or cold anymore, but I can still feel a little, and I can feel a warm rain on my face. I can almost see where my son leans over my face crying.

"Mommy, don't go to heaven! You have to take care of me and Daddy!" He hugs my neck, crying so hard his tiny body shakes.

My poor baby. Growing up with mercenaries for parents who were always on the run must have taught you what it means to die after all. I guess I was wrong about you not understanding.

I hold him one last time. I know you will come soon to take care of him. I trust you. You promised me after all.

Oh my poor Kratos. Thank you. I love you so…!

"Lloyd…," I say. My vision is darkening. I can't see him anymore, can't feel him hugging me. I lean to his ear, and whisper the words you and I always say to him when we tuck him into his bed, though it is I going to the eternal slumber. "Grow… strong, Lloyd..."

All fades away, and I can feel myself falling… falling into Angelus, but no. I don't want to live forever in the Exsphere. I free myself of my spirit. I send it to the crystal in place of my soul, it along with all my memories. Someday, Lloyd might want to see what his mother was like, may want to use my skill with the twin blades, may need the power I learned to protect his true love, and it's a small sacrifice to make to give at least that to him without sending my soul to that eternal isolated existence close to a hell.

Slowly the darkness deepens like the ocean, and suddenly opens up into a brilliant blinding light.

_Please remember me. Remember my sacrifice. Remember your promise… to raise our son and be the parent I wanted to be._

_Be happy._

_Live._

_I will always love you both._

_I promised you that day at the docks of Izhoold after all, right?_

_My angel… my Kratos._

_I will love you forever…_


End file.
